When Comparison Becomes a Teacher

There are days when we look around and it seems like everyone else has something we don’t.

Someone has a better job. Someone earns more.

Someone has more time for themselves, a perfect figure, a partner who understands them, children who sleep through the night.

Someone is already where we’re still trying to get.

And as we watch, a quiet voice begins to rise within us:

“Why am I not there yet?”

“What’s wrong with me?”

“I’ll never get there.”

That’s the first kind of comparison — the one that hurts.

The one that breaks us from the inside, makes us withdraw, discourages us.

Mel Robbins calls it torture.

It’s that moment when comparison stops being motivation and becomes a cage. When we start believing that someone else’s success is proof of our failure.

But there is another possibility.

Sometimes, when we look at others, we can see a formula. An insight. An inspiration. Someone else’s happiness can teach us what’s possible. Someone else’s success can be a guide, not an accusation.

We can say:

“If she managed to change her career — maybe I can too.”

“If he found balance, maybe it’s time I start looking for mine.”

That’s the second kind of comparison — the teacher.

Instead of bringing us down, it lifts us up.

It doesn’t create envy, but curiosity.

It doesn’t cause self-pity, but sparks an idea.

It doesn’t break us — it moves us.

And maybe that’s the key difference:

Whenever you catch yourself comparing, pause.

Don’t run from it — it’s human.

Just ask yourself:

“Is this teaching me something… or is it torturing me?”

Learning leads to growth.

Torture leads to stagnation.

Learning opens you up; torture shuts you down.

And the truth is — there’s no limit to success, happiness, or love.

There’s enough for everyone.

Including you.

So choose.

And the next time you feel yourself comparing, gently tell yourself:

“Let’s use this as a guidepost, not as proof that I’m not enough.”

Because you are.

And the learning has already begun.

—————————————————

Poređenje: Učitelj ili Mučitelj

Postoje dani kada pogledamo oko sebe i čini nam se da svi drugi imaju nešto što mi nemamo. Neko ima bolji posao. Neko zarađuje više. Neko ima više vremena za sebe, savršenu liniju, partnera koji ga razume, decu koja spavaju celu noć. Neko je već tamo gde mi tek pokušavamo da stignemo.

I dok to posmatramo, u nama se polako budi glas koji nas stišće:

„Zašto nisam i ja tu?“

„Šta sa mnom nije u redu?“

„Nikad neću stići do toga.“

To je ona prva vrsta poređenja — ona koja boli. Koja nas lomi iznutra, tera da se zatvorimo, obeshrabri nas. Mel Robbins je zove mučenjem. To je trenutak kada poređenje ne postaje motivacija, već prepreka. Kad verujemo da su tuđi uspesi dokaz naših neuspeha.

Ali postoji i druga mogućnost.

Ponekad, dok posmatramo druge, možemo videti formulu. Uvid. Inspiraciju.

Tuđa sreća može nas naučiti šta je moguće. Tuđi uspeh može biti smernica, ne optužba. Možemo reći:

„Ako je ona uspela da promeni karijeru — mogu i ja.“

„Ako je on pronašao balans, možda je vreme da ga i ja potražim.“

To je druga vrsta poređenja — učitelj.

Umesto da nas obori, ono nas podigne. Ne stvara zavist, već znatiželju. Ne izaziva samosažaljenje, već daje ideju. Ne lomi nas, već nas pomera.

I možda je to ključna razlika:

Kad god se uhvatiš da se porediš — stani. Ne beži od toga, jer je ljudski. Samo se zapitaj:

„Da li me ovo trenutno uči nečemu… ili me muči?“

Učenje vodi rastu. Mučenje vodi stagnaciji.

Učenje otvara vrata, dok poredjenje zatvara.

I istina je — nema ograničenog broja uspeha, sreće, ljubavi. Ima dovoljno za sve. I za tebe.

Zato biraj. I kad sledeći put osetiš da se porediš, nežno sebi reci:

„Hajde da ovo iskoristim kao putokaz, a ne kao dokaz da nisam dovoljno dobra.“

Jer jesi. I učenje je već počelo.

📸 by @pinterest