What I Wish I Had Known at 20

There is something irresistible about your twenties. You feel as if the whole world is ahead of you, that nothing is impossible, and that life is long and patient. Back then, you believe mistakes are fatal, that love has to last forever, and that if you don’t find your path right now, you’ll be lost forever.

But now, from a distance, I see how much I hurried. How often I felt I wasn’t enough, how desperately I tried to be perfect, to earn other people’s approval. How hard I worked to please everyone — except myself.

And that’s why I wish I could write a letter to that twenty-year-old T., hold her close, and whisper a few things in her ear:

1. You don’t have to know everything right away.

Life is not a race, it is a journey of unfolding. Everything you think you must have figured out right now — you will learn along the way. School, work, love, purpose… it will all arrive in its own time. Your path is not late; your path is yours.

2. Be gentle with yourself.

Stop measuring your worth through grades, praise, or the eyes of others. Your heart doesn’t need proof; your existence is already enough. The kindness you pour into others — offer it to yourself too. You are worthy of warmth.

3. Mistakes are not shameful; they are a map.

They are the steppingstones that mark the way back to yourself. Every “wrong” decision was just a detour that needed to happen to bring you closer to who you are today.

4. People come and go — and that doesn’t mean you are not enough.

Not everyone is meant to stay. Some arrive to show you what love looks like, some to teach you the face of loss. Some to remind you how far you can go without them. Let them go with gratitude — your heart knows how to continue.

5. Your imperfections are your most beautiful stories.

The wrinkles you will one day see in the mirror, the quiet battles you now hide, all your weaknesses — one day they will become your most precious ornaments. Your differences are not a burden, but a gift.

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Maybe I can’t turn back time and actually whisper this to my twenty-year-old self, but I can choose to live today with that knowledge. Maybe that’s the whole meaning of the years ahead — that with each one, we learn to love ourselves a little louder, to be softer and more patient, and to finally believe that we are enough, exactly as we are.

And you? If you look back at your twenties — what do you wish you had known then?

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Šta bih volela da sam znala sa 20 godina

Postoji nešto neodoljivo u tim dvadesetim. Imaš osećaj da je ceo svet pred tobom, da ništa nije nemoguće i da je život dug i strpljiv. Tada misliš da su greške fatalne, da ljubavi moraju da traju zauvek i da ćeš, ako sada ne pronađeš svoj put, zauvek lutati izgubljena.

Ali sada, sa distance, vidim koliko sam tada žurila. Koliko sam često osećala da nisam dovoljno, da moram da budem savršena, da zaslužim tuđe odobravanje. Koliko sam se trudila da udovoljim svima — osim sebi.

I zato bih volela da mogu da napišem jedno pismo onoj dvadesetogodišnjoj T., da je zagrlim i da joj šapnem nekoliko stvari:

1. Nisi u obavezi da sve znaš odmah.

Život se ne trči, on se otkriva. Sve što misliš da moraš da znaš sada, naučićeš u hodu. Fakultet, posao, ljubav, smisao… sve će doći u svoje vreme. Tvoj put ne kasni, tvoj put je tvoj.

2. Budi nežna prema sebi.

Prestani da meriš svoju vrednost ocenama, pohvalama, tuđim pogledima. Tvoje srce ne treba dokaz, tvoje postojanje već je dovoljno. Ljubaznost koju širiš ka drugima, pruži i sebi — jer i ti zaslužuješ toplinu.

3. Greške nisu sramota, već mapa.

One su kamenčići kojima je obeležen put do tebe. Svaka tvoja „pogrešna“ odluka samo je bila skretanje koje je moralo da se desi, da bi te dovelo bliže onome ko si sada.

4. Ljudi dolaze i odlaze, i to ne znači da si ti nedovoljna.

Nisu svi namenjeni da ostanu. Neki dođu da te nauče kako izgleda ljubav, neki da te nauče kako izgleda gubitak. Neki da ti pokažu koliko daleko možeš bez njih. Pusti ih sa zahvalnošću — jer tvoje srce zna kako da nastavi.

5. Tvoje nesavršenosti su tvoje najlepše priče.

One bore koje ćeš jednog dana gledati u ogledalu, te tihe borbe koje sada skrivaš, sve tvoje slabosti — jednog dana postaće tvoji najlepši ukrasi. Jer tvoja različitost nije teret, nego poklon.

Možda ne mogu da vratim vreme i da zaista šapnem ovo dvadesetogodišnjoj sebi, ali mogu da biram da danas živim s tim znanjem. Možda je upravo to smisao godina koje dolaze — da sa svakom od njih naučimo da sebe volimo malo glasnije, da budemo nežniji i strpljiviji, i da konačno poverujemo da smo baš ovakvi dovoljni.

A ti? Ako se vratiš u svoje dvadesete — šta bi volela da tada znaš?