The Simplest Way to Take Control of Your Emotions

Did you know that your anger, sadness, fear, or frustration doesn’t have to last for hours, days… or even longer than 90 seconds?

No, this isn’t a fairy tale – it’s science.

American neuroanatomist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor discovered that every emotional reaction in the body lasts about 90 seconds.

That’s the time it takes for the chemical wave triggered by a situation to run its course and naturally wash out of our system.

Everything after those 90 seconds – that’s us, feeding the feeling again through our thoughts and analysis.

🌀 How do those 90 seconds work?

1. A trigger happens – a word, a glance, a memory.

2. The brain sends a signal to the body – your heart races, breathing changes, stress hormones are released.

3. The wave passes – and if we give it space, it truly fades within a minute and a half.

🌀 The Link with Anxiety

With anxiety, this is exactly where the core problem lies – we keep extending that wave.

The trigger may have happened just once, but our mind replays it, analyzes it over and over, adds “what if” scenarios, and refuses to let the emotion go.

Every time we do this, the body receives the signal that the danger is still here – and the chemical reaction starts all over again.

That’s why during an anxiety episode we feel trapped in the same state for hours or days – because it’s no longer one wave, but a series we keep creating ourselves. Yes, we are the ones responsible for it. And yes, we have the power to control it.

🌀 How to Take Back Control

🔹 Notice the emotion is there – without judgment. It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling; the emotion is there for a reason.

🔹 Take a deep breath and tell yourself: “This is just a wave. It will pass.”

Imagine you’re in the ocean – you wouldn’t stop swimming just because a wave appeared, right? On the contrary, some people actually love the waves.

🔹 Focus on the present moment – Listen to the sounds around you, notice the colors you see, the texture of the fabric under your fingers.

If that doesn’t work – stand up, move, change your surroundings, make yourself a coffee or tea. The key is to step outside the frame you’re in right now.

🔹 Refuse to go back to the story – every new round of analysis restarts the chemistry of anxiety. You sink deeper and keep feeding it. Say stop.

💌 A Gentle Reminder

The feeling is not you. You are not anger – you are feeling anger. You are not rage – you are feeling rage.

You are the one who observes the waves and chooses whether to feed them or let them pass.

And then, you keep swimming – more present, more grateful – knowing that every wave eventually fades, and peace is always your final destination.

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Najjednostavniji način da preuzmeš kontrolu nad emocijama

Jeste li znali da tvoja ljutnja, tuga, strah ili frustracija zapravo ne moraju da traju satima, danima… pa ni duže od 90 sekundi?

Ne, nije bajka – to je nauka.

Američka neuroanatomičarka Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor otkrila je da svaka emocionalna reakcija u telu traje oko 90 sekundi.

To je vreme koje je potrebno da se hemijski talas izazvan nekom situacijom proživi i prirodno ispere iz našeg sistema.

Sve posle tih 90 sekundi – to smo mi koji mislima i analizom ponovo hranimo osećaj.

🌀 Kako funkcioniše tih 90 sekundi?

1. Dogodi se okidač – reč, pogled, sećanje.

2. Mozak šalje signal telu – srce ubrzava, disanje se menja, hormoni stresa se oslobađaju.

3. Talas prolazi – i ako mu damo prostora, on se zaista povlači u roku od minut i po.

🌀 Veza sa anksioznošću

Kod anksioznosti, upravo tu leži ključni problem – mi produžavamo taj talas.

Okidač se možda desio samo jednom, ali naš um ga ponavlja, analizira mnogo puta, dodaje “šta ako” scenarije, i ne dopušta emociji da ode.

Svaki put kada to uradimo, telo dobija signal da je opasnost tu – i hemijska reakcija kreće ispočetka. 

Upravo zato kod anksioznih epizoda osećamo da smo zarobljeni satima ili danima u istom stanju – jer talas više nije jedan, već niz koji sami pokrećemo. Da, mi smo sami odgovorni za to. I da imamo moć da to kontrolišemo.

🌀 Kako preuzeti kontrolu?

🔹 Primeti da je emocija tu – bez osuđivanja. Ok je da osećaš šta god, jer emocija je tu sa razlogom.

🔹 Udahni duboko i reci sebi: “Ovo je samo talas. Proći će.”  Zamislite da ste na moru- sigurno ne odustajeye od plivanja jer je naišao talas, zar ne? Naprotiv, neki baš i vole talase.

🔹 Fokusiraj se na sadašnji trenutak – Oslušnj zvukove oko sebe, boje koje vidiš, dodir tkanine pod prstima. Ako to ne uspe- ustani, pokreni se, promeni sredinu, napravi kafu, čaj. Bitno je da izadješ iz tog okvira u kojem si trenutno.

🔹 Odbij da se vraćaš u priču – svaka nova analiza ponovo pokreće hemiju anksioznosti. Udubljuješ se sve više i daješ svojoj anksioznosti hranu. Reci stop. 

💌 Podsetnik:

Osećaj nisi ti. Nisi ti ljutnja – ti osećaš ljutnju. Nisi ti bes – ti osećaš bes. Ti si osoba koja posmatra te talase i bira da li će ih hraniti ili pustiti da se prodju. A onda nastavljaš da plivaš, još prisutnija, još zahvalnija, jer znaš da svaki talas prođe i da je mir uvek tvoja krajnja destinacija.