There are those days. They don’t bring anything spectacular—no major breakdowns, no loud storms. Somehow, they leave you feeling completely empty. As if someone turned off the light inside you, and you’re sitting in the dark, trying not to let it show. You smile out of habit. You breathe automatically. You’re present, you try, but your heart—it’s somewhere far away, curled up from exhaustion.
You don’t know if you’re tired from lack of sleep, from expectations, from the silence no one notices. From the sadness that lingers. From the standards you set for yourself. Or maybe you’re just drained from always having to be “okay.”
Because you’re a mother. A partner. A daughter. Because you’re someone others rely on. Because you’re “the one who can always handle it.” And you really can. But sometimes, you just don’t want to. Sometimes you just want someone to tuck you in with a blanket and say you don’t have to do anything today. That it’s okay not to be okay.
But even on that day, that quiet day when your heart is tired to the point of pain, you try again to keep that smile. Not because you’re pretending. But because you’re hoping. Because you don’t want your loved ones to worry. You know it will pass. You know—because you’ve survived so much before.
On those days, I don’t look for solutions. I don’t search for big answers. I put on a playlist on Spotify, and maybe let a few tears fall when no one’s watching. I drink another coffee. I open a book. Or I write something—to myself, to others, to the sky.
That helps. In that small, quiet corner, I find the part of me that hasn’t given up yet. That still loves. Still feels.
Just remember that a smile, even when quieter than a whisper, can sometimes scream what we don’t know how to say. So look carefully at the happy people around you—maybe someone needs your presence and a kind word today.
To all of you for whom today feels heavy, but who still carry a smile in your heart—I see you. I feel you. For now, I believe that’s enough to keep us from feeling alone.
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Kako prebroditi teške dane
Postoje ti dani. Ne nose ništa spektakularno u sebi — nema velikih lomova, nema glasnih oluja. A opet, ostave te potpuno praznom. Kao da ti neko isključi svetlo koje nošis u sebi, a ti sediš u mraku i gledaš da se ne primeti. Raduješ se iz navike. Dišeš automatski. Prisutna si, trudiš se, ali srce, ono je negde daleko, sklupčano od umora.
Ne znaš da li si umorna od nespavanja, od očekivanja, od tišine koju niko ne primećuje. Od tuge koja te mori. Od očekivanja koja si sama sebu zadala. Ili si samo premorena od toga da stalno moraš biti “dobro”.
Zato što si majka. Partner. Ćerka. Jer si neko na koga se drugi oslanjaju. Zato što si “ona koja uvek može”. I stvarno možeš. Ali nekad ne želiš. Nekad samo želiš da neko tebe pokrije ćebetom, da ti kaže da ne moraš danas. Da smeš da ne budeš okej.
Ali i tog dana, tog tihog dana kada ti se srce umori do bola, trudiš se iznova da tah osmeh nekako ostane. Ne zato što glumiš. Već zato što se nadaš. Jer ne želiš da tvoji voljeni brinu. Znaš da će proći. Znaš jer si preživela već mnogo.
U tim danima, ne tražim rešenja. Ne tražim velike odgovore. Pustim playlistu na Spotify, i pokoju suzu kada niko ne gleda. Popijem jos jednu kafu. Otvorim knjigu. Ili napišem nešto — sebi, drugima, nebu.
I to pomaže. U tom malom, tihom kutku, pronađem deo sebe koji se još nije predao. Koji i dalje voli. I dalje oseća.
Samo zapamtite da osmeh, čak i kad je tiši od glasa, nekad vrišti ono što ne znamo da kažemo. Zato pažljivo gledajte srećne ljude oko vas, možda nekome bas danas treba vaša blizina i razgovor.
Za sve vas kojima je danas teško, ali i dalje nosite osmeh u srcu— vidim vas. I osećam vas. I za početak verujem da je to dovoljno da se ne osećamo sami.
Tanja's diary 🧚🏻‍♂️ 