December

December brings a city draped in gray, a bit somber and sad. There are sparks from twinkling lights, but they’re easy to miss. Everyone’s in a rush, scrambling for gifts, prepping Instagram-worthy New Year’s dinner, and making the tree and gingerbread perfect. Every year, the pressure for excellence grows.

I remember a time when having a Christmas tree felt like a dream. We always lived in tight spaces as tenants, however, one day, my dad, at work, crafted a tiny wire tree for us! My happiness knew no bounds! It was a tiny gray tree in the color of wire, more like a tree than a fir, but adorned with decorations my brother and I made from paper. I would also paste our handmade snowflakes everywhere, walls (and ceilings) were covered with green, yellow, and red snowflakes. Even today, I wonder how my family endured it because the apartment surely looked like a circus. Of course, there was always this one treat,  baklava, and my mom’s does fantastic baklava! In the evening, we lit sparklers. That’s how we always welcomed the new year with radio sounds, a countdown from 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, lots of kisses, beautiful wishes, and hugs. And it always filled my heart. Of course, neighbors had to come the next day with only a smile as a gift. Perhaps the occasional chocolate for us kids. Anything else was not acceptable.

It was so wonderful to feel that pure joy, make decorations, and paint windows with tempera.

Today, everything is so accessible. Everything can be bought. However, with all this modern technology, people are more distant than ever. Lonelier. That’s why perhaps the most important question to ask you in this period is how you are, instead of asking if you decorated the tree?

I want to remind you to be gentle with yourself during the holidays. Speak kindly to yourself. Set smaller goals that will help prioritize your mental health. Perhaps a short walk every day. However, allow yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling. You don’t have to be euphoric, overjoyed… and yet, it’s okay if you are. Focus on what you are, not on what you are not or what others expect from you. Be patient with your growth. We are enough. Your best is enough, and your best will look different every day.

So, tell me, how are you?

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Decembar. Grad je siv, mracan, tuzan i potisten. Poneka iskrica sjaji od upaljenih novogodisnjih lampica, ali slabo ih i primecujem. Svi u zurbi, jure da kupe poklone, da spreme tu novogodinju veceru, okite jelku, ukrase sto je lepse moguce, uslikaju za Instagram, naprave savrsene medenjake… Svake godine imamo sve veci i veci pritisak za savrsenoscu. A ona prava praznicna carolija koju smo osecali jos kao deca, bledi. 

Secam se kako nikada nisam imala jelku jer uvek smo ziveli u jako malom prostoru i dugo vremena kao podstanari. Elem, tata nam je je jednog dana na poslu napravio malu jelkicu od zice! Pa mojoj sreci nije bilo kraja! Bilo je to malena siva jelka u boji zice, vise nalik na drvo nego na jelku, ali sa ukrasima koje sam zajedno sa bratom pazljivo pravila od papira. Zatim sam lepila svuda po stanu nase rucno pravljene snezne zvedze, a zidovi ( i plafoni) su bili isarani od zelenih, zutih i crvenih pahulja. I dan danas se cudim mojoj porodici kako su sve to izdrzali jer je stan sigurno licio na jedan cirkus. Naravno, uvek je bio jedan kolac, baklava koju moja mama sprema fantasticno. Uvece smo palili prskalice. Tako smo uvek docekivali nove godine uz zvuke radija i ono klasicno odbrojavanje, 5,4,3,2,1 uz puno poljubaca, najlepsih zelja i zagrljaja. A meni je uvek bilo prepuno srcem. Naravno obavezno je bilo da komsije dolaze sutradan uz jedino osmeh kao poklon. Mozda krisom poneka cokolada za nas decu. Ostalo nije bilo prihvatljivo.

Kako je bilo lepo osecati tu cistu radost. Praviti ukrase. Bojiti prozore temperom.

Dok danas sve je tako pristupacno. Sve se moze kupiti. Sa svom tom savremenom tehnologijom, ljudi su udaljeniji vise nego ikada. Usamljeniji. I zato je mozda najvaznije pitanje da vas pitam bas u ovom periodu kako ste, umesto jeste li okitili jelku? 

Zelim da vas podsetim da budete blagi prema sebi za praznike. Hocu da govorite sa ljubaznoscu prema sebi. Postavite manje ciljeve koji ce vam pomoci da stavite svoje mentalno zdravlje na prvo mesto. Mozda jedna kratka setnja svaki dan. Medjutim, dozvoli sebi i da osetis sta god da osecas. Ne moras da budes euforican, presrecan…a opet u redu je i ako jesi. Fokusiraj se na ono sto ti jesi, ne na ono sto nisi ili sto drugi ljudi ocekuju od tebe. Budi strpljiv prema svom rastu. Dovoljni smo. Tvoje najbolje je dovoljno, i tvoje najbolje ce izgledati drugacije svaki dan. 

Dakle, recite mi, kako ste?