At 4 AM, the stillness was broken by my husband’s phone ringing. I heard him expressing condolences. I heard my daughter-in-law’s voice. Crying. I knew. A scream from my shattered soul escaped because a piece of my heart was taken from me forever. Never in my life would I have thought that my brother would pass away. My brother, who was 39 years old. Who had just begun to live.
The hardest part was that I was the one who conveyed the saddest news I could ever tell my parents that morning: “Your son has passed away. “ Ufff… I knew we would never be the same again. I will never be the same. Never.
I still long for his return, his laughter, and his guidance. He bestowed upon me invaluable lessons, emphasizing the importance of believing in myself. Music, a passion he pursue, became our shared soundtrack, and his voice still resonates in my ears.
He even gave me my name, a symbol of his desire to be the big brother. We weathered storms together – war, refugee life, bombardments, lack of food and clothing, and the absence of a stable home. In those difficult times, he shielded me, shared his sweaters, and provided me with backpacks when new ones were a luxury for our family…thus, I shall eternally be grateful to the heavens for gifting me such an amazing brother.
Let me share what this pain has taught me:
->Pain has taught me resilience. It showed me that even in the darkest moments, when life seems unbearable, there exists an inner strength waiting to be uncovered. It’s the resilience that whispers, “You can endure this,” and guides us through the storm, reminding us of our inherent ability to withstand the toughest trials.
->I learned the art of empathy. Experiencing my own struggles opened my eyes to the struggles of others. Pain has a way of breaking down the walls of isolation, connecting us through shared vulnerability.
->Consider reaching out to a professional for assistance; certain challenges benefit from expert guidance that goes beyond personal preparation.
-> Don’t take it personally if some may find your pain inconvenient and turn away. Indeed, you will be disappointed, however, you will realise there are exceptional individuals – true friends, partners, and those humans who stand by you when you need them, without demanding explanations. They will protect your heart, and they are your team.
->Pain has also been a catalyst for growth. It forced me to confront my fears, pushing me out of my comfort zone. The discomfort of pain acted as a catalyst for transformation, urging me to evolve beyond the confines of familiarity.
->There is no time to wait for the specific milestones to treat ourselves and find joy in a single moment. That’s why I fulfilled my dream to write and turned my pain into the purpose of a blog. I do hope it will reach people who would be inspired by my experiences, showing that we’re all on a similar journey and can conquer challenges together through support and understanding.
-> Embrace gratitude wholeheartedly! Often, it’s only in the face of adversity that we truly value what we have. Allow this gentle reminder from someone who once believed they would never face such circumstances to encourage you to appreciate the present moment!
As for overcoming painful experiences, I’ve found that seeking support from those who truly care, focusing on personal strength, professional help and turning adversity into a source of motivation have been, and still are, instrumental in my healing journey.
How about you? How have you navigated painful experiences in your life?
Tanja's diary 🧚🏻♂️ 